Archive for business communications – Page 2

13 Common Sentence Starters that Kill Your Independence

It’s the day of our Nation’s independence and celebration abounds. Funny how it takes a holiday to remember that our freedom wasn’t always an entitlement.

We’d long ago been given a beautiful gift of exercising the right to say what we think.  The potential problem is that, far too often, we tend to do exactly that.  Say what we think, instead of saying what would make us sound stronger or more direct. “Aren’t we supposed to say what we think in order to be direct,” you say?  Sure. But hear me out…

Your brain has an inner dialogue that speaks to you long before you choose the words that escape the mouth.  I urge you to consider that some of these initial thoughts/dialogues between you and your brain should stay there, rather than audibly display any doubt, uncertainty or insecurity. By uttering those first fleeting sentence starters, you virtually hand over the control of the conversation to the listener, allowing them the opportunity to accept or dismiss what you’re saying.

To be truly direct is to make an independent statement that is not subject to qualification. Holding back on the weaker sentence starter gives the rest of your message the power it deserves.

In honor of the first 13 colonies who made their direct statements of independence, I offer you a quick list of 13 examples. These sentence starters kill your verbal independence and give the power of your speech to the listener;

  1. If you don’t mind, I’ll….
  2. What I was thinking was…
  3. I’m not sure about this, but…
  4. Don’t you think we could…?
  5. I’m hoping it’s OK to …
  6. Why don’t we try…
  7. Maybe you’ve already thought of this…
  8. I know it sounds strange, but…
  9. For lack of a better option…
  10. I’m wondering if …
  11. May I ask a question? (Just ask it for Pete’s sake)
  12. Anything starting with the words “Well,…” or “Um,…”
  13. Anything starting with the combination of the words “Well,…” and “Um,…”

How often do you find yourself using a weak sentence starter, even though you are clear on what you intend to say?

4 Ways to Self-Promote Without Promoting Yourself: Part II

Last week I began the conversation about ways to get others to sing your accolades for you, instead of having to do it yourself. Our lengthy discussion with awards and nominations was labeled “Way #1”. It’s up to you, after all, to find creative ways to inform and educate your clients & prospects about how great you are….without it sounding like self-promotion.

This week I want to give you three more areas to focus on, Letters to the Editor, Speaking and Article Marketing. Each of these areas offers creative opportunities for accomplishing far more with your promotion efforts than you can muster alone.

Way #2. Letters to the Editor

In each of your local publications will be a section where the paper wants to hear intelligent and thought-provoking content from its readership.  The Philadelphia Inquirer, for example, has an email listed on their online edition that clearly solicits engagement in sending material to the publication. Take advantage of these areas where you can find them.  Editors enjoy hearing from their readership for a variety of reasons.

What’s your Angle?

  • Take a stance on something the paper ran in its last issue. Make sure you research the topic, know your facts and write an intelligent and relevant response.
  • Point out an error or challenge an opinion…but do it respectfully from an engaging and knowledgeable place. Ranting doesn’t get printed – nor does it help your reputation.
  • Pitch a story idea (called a query in publishing terms) that will complement and benefit the content in their publication. Be sure to research submission guidelines, as some prefer contact via email and others by snail mail.
  • Talk to the readership. Come from a place of support for the paper.

In magazines you can look for this information somewhere within the first few pages. You’ll find a listing of editors, staff, contributing writers and often, some instruction for those wishing to submit material to the paper.

What can they do for you?

Write back = Recognition

Run your piece/list your name = Visibility

Consider you a resource if they like your stuff = Credibility

Ultimately you need to be respectful, interesting and informative. You’re doing this to build your relationship with the paper as a professional resource and a supportive member of community. In time, they may come straight to you when they need knowledge or contribution from an expert in your field. There’s your shot.

Way #3: Event Promotion/Public Speaking

It’s a well known marketing tactic that public speaking is an excellent way to increase visibility and become more well-known within your field.  Many community entities need and welcome your expertise for the betterment of both their organizations and their constituents. The long list of these entities includes your local library, Rotary Club, Networking Clubs, Chambers of Commerce, Association Memberships and many more. But how does that fit into our topic of discussion here?

What’s the Point?

Newspapers often promote Community Events via their online editions like the Courier Post Online or the Burlington County Times. The guideline here is to make sure your events are of interest to the public rather than an ad for a Clearance Blow-Out or a Sale, Sale, Sale!  Business, networking and educational events have the most chance of being accepted for posting. Check the instructions upon finding the link, as on the BizJournals site.

Way #4: Article Marketing

Wikipeadia says:Article marketing is a type of advertising in which businesses write short articles related to their respective industry. These articles are made available for distribution and publication in the marketplace. Each article contains a bio box and byline (collectively known as the resource box) that include references and contact information for the author’s business. Well-written content articles released for free distribution have the potential of increasing the authoring business’ credibility within its market as well as attracting new clients. These articles are often syndicated by other websites, and published on multiple websites.”

Where Do You Post Your Stuff?

  1. Use your Association memberships to insert your content in their member newsletters, websites and online blog editions.
  2. Blogs of friends or alliances – Seek guest posting opportunities. Check out BloggerLinkUp.com
  3. Article Marketing sites like EzinesArticles.com
  4. Information Curation Sites in your own city like Examiner.com

Follow Through –Getting others to promote you is a stealth form of communication . Combining the efforts of accolades, article marketing and public speaking achieves the kind of visibility that comes from wearing red blinking glasses in a darkened room.  Your prospects can’t help but see you.

Help get the word out via your website/blog, your collateral materials and your social media profiles. And don’t forget the almighty press release! Don’t know where to start?  Let me give you a hand.

4 Ways to Self-Promote Without Promoting Yourself: Part I – Awards & Accolades

It’s a commonly known phenomenon – when your name/company name appears in print and is being promoted by the press, its level of visibility and credibility rises exponentially. You already know that your product, services and/or knowledge are superior. The challenge is in getting others to claim your superiority.  Here’s where “being humble” gets in the way.

Most folks tend to get hung-up on the difference between self-promotion and promoting oneself.  I like to think of it as standing in a dark room with a bunch of your competitors…if you don’t turn on a lapel-light or some blinking goggles, how will your prospects be able to see you?

While not everyone feels comfortable wearing blinking goggles, it’s still up to you, as a professional, to find a way to inform and educate their clients & prospects about how great you are…without it sounding like self-promotion.

There are 4 activities that will aide in getting the press and the community to do the promoting for you;

1.      Awards & Accolades

2.      Letters to the Editor

3.      Event Promotion/Public Speaking

4.      Article Marketing

Each of these areas offers creative opportunities for accomplishing far more with your promotion efforts than you can muster alone, so I’d like to provide you food for thought…one step at a time. Let’s start with Awards and Accolades.

I. Awards & Accolades

When it comes to nominations, whether self or otherwise, this is the single most effective way for getting recognized for achievements in your profession, your industry, your community or your non-profit & volunteer efforts.

Don’t want to put on the blinking glasses?  Then have a friend or colleague do it for you.  Write the nomination content and give it to them to submit using their own name as “Nominator”. Assure them that it’s not like being a God-parent; their responsibility ends after submission.

So where do you find places to submit yourself? Each large press publication in your region has recognition contests for individual professionals, company accolade and for non-profit organizations. In my region our big ones are NJBIZ and the Philadelphia Business Journal.  Additionally, many Chamber of Commerce associations promote their members by recognizing them with award & dinner programs (see example: Burlington County Chamber of Commerce’s Voice of Business Awards ). Check out your local association listings and begin collecting your submission data research, including criteria and deadlines.

Got growth? Here are a few National opportunities you’ll want to look into:

What’s the catch? You have to win the award in order to get the recognition.  Check out your competition first – most award programs post past recipients on their websites. Google search winner backgrounds and make sure your own background and community efforts are comparably noteworthy, recent…and not just about incoming revenue.

Follow Through – You’re not finished if you win it. Don’t rely on the paper to promote it alone.  Help get the word out via your website/blog, your collateral materials and your social media profiles. And don’t forget the almighty press release! Don’t know where to start?  Let  me give you a hand.

Stay tuned for next week’s creative self-promotion method, Letters to the Editor.

 

Will the Real You Please Stand Up

So much of effective networking is dependent on how comfortable we are in social settings. I know, I know…duh. Yet most people don’t realize what a large part of their conversational personality comes across as less than authentic. Discomfort has a lot to do with that and is often the first thing people feel in a room full of strangers. How does one overcome this setback?  I decided to ask an expert.  Here’s what friend and peer, Marilyn Kleinberg, has to say…

Networking the Real You

Will the Real You Please Stand Up?

So often I see a man or women at a networking event whose inner voice and body language says, “Get me outa here” but whose public voice says “hi my name is”.  If this sounds like you or you know someone like this, let me share a little secret with you…that used to be me, too.

So what did I do? I started by asking myself why was I so uncomfortable? I realized what had me paralyzed was the fear of “what am I going to say, will they like me, do I have anything to offer, or the ever present…do I look okay?”  For me, it stemmed from a place of insecurity.

And then I decided to get out of my own way.

Networking is nothing more than—and yet all about—the art of a conversation.

By just being me I can start a conversation about anything…the weather, sports, business trends, or about the crazy day I just had..as long as the discussion comes from a place of authenticity. In other words, I am interested in the answers I receive.

It’s pretty simple really. By approaching networking from a “how can I help you?” and not a “how can you help me” philosophy, you’ll open the door to conversations that will create commonalities, build relationships and foster a positive, authentic dialogue that can lead to new opportunities.

Also important for me, was the understanding that I don’t need to wear a pair of high heels and the “perfect fitted suit” to be accepted. I need to look businesslike and I need to be comfortable. I need to be genuine from head to toe, inside and out.

So just get over it and get on with it! People are waiting to meet the “real” you!

About the author:

Marilyn Kleinberg

Marilyn Kleinberg is the Executive Managing Director of eWomenNetwork Southern New Jersey and the former Vice President of the Chamber of Commerce Southern New Jersey.  Marilyn’s a seasoned networker, a wealth of resourceful information and an interminable support to women and women in business.  I welcome you to send her a shout-out at m.kleinberg@verizon.net .

Bully by Tongue: Are You A Conversational Bully?

Conversational Tongue Lashing

How often do you find yourself in a conversation with a bully?  I’m not talking about someone pushing your around – I’m talking about the bully that wounds with their words.  Pushy abrasive types KNOW they’re being a jerk.  The dangerous ones are the unsuspecting bully/jerks that are completely unaware how much power their words actually wield.  They tend to exercise control over conversations by insulting, hurting or belittling the person they’re speaking to, without the intention or the realization that they have.  There are dozens of conversational bullies out there. I’m not talking about you, am I?

The ‘My Advice Is King’ Bully

This kind of bully believes they’re being helpful by giving sage advice.  If this is your style, watch your step. Your off-putting phrases make people uncomfortable and create a negative platform for whatever conversation follows your opening statement. Ask yourself…have you ever started a sentence with these phrases?

  • The way I see it…
  • Let me tell you something…
  • If you were smart, you would…
  • You said,…
  • That’ll never…

Think before you speak. Offer other ways to communicate a strong opinion by beginning the sentence with a bit more diplomacy and sensitivity.

For instance, instead of saying “The way I see it…your proposal isn’t going to work”; try “I’m not sure I understand how this proposal will work.” You are admitting to the responsibility of the gap in communication, but not placing blame on any one party (even if you do blame someone). In addition, you aren’t suggesting future failure of the proposal either…in fact, you are actively keeping the discussion to a current time frame in order to maintain focus on solving your issue in the here & now. When you claim that things are “The way I see it…” you seem to be assuming that someone doesn’t ALREADY see it your way and are forcing them into defense mode.

Ever hear this one?  “If you were smart, you would tell them you have too much on your plate right now to take more on.” While the messenger likely has a concerned and helpful intention, they may have just insinuated that you aren’t ALREADY smart. Be cautious and aware to never, never begin telling someone your opinion by insulting theirs.

NO one likes being told what they did or didn’t say or what they did or didn’t do. Starting a sentence with “You said...” is a defense-mechanism trigger waiting to happen. Keep every conversation to your own recollection of how the exchange went the first time around. For instance, “I thought I understood you to say…” or “Am I remembering correctly that you said,…?” In this manner, you are allowing the individual to clarify their information without feeling attacked or on the spot.

Recognize any of these phrases from your own vernacular?  Take an inventory and take responsibility for your own messages.

Are you a Conversational Bully?

Other useful links:


In Celebration of Really Bad Email

Every now and again something you’ve hoped for happens and you simply have to shout it from the rooftops, knowing full well that it is WAY more exciting to you than it is to anyone else.

This is one of those moments. After all…we’re told to celebrate our accomplishments, right?

The following article was chosen in the 2010 Writer’s Digest writing competition within the “Magazine Feature Article” category. Not only will it be listed as such in an upcoming issue of Writer’s Digest Magazine, but it brings me one step closer to a couple of my writing goals.

I welcome you to a “virtual clink” as I raise a very deep glass filled with rich purple notes of plum, cherries & oak.

Salud!

The Writes and Wrongs of Email Messaging

Communicating via email is as commonly used as the remote of a TV. In fact, this extraordinary tool has become quite the ordinary, in both personal and professional communications. Consequently, using effective, creative messaging methods while remembering your online e-manners can help increase business, strengthen relationships and introduce convenience practices into your professional habits.

Emails can, for instance;

  • Create a paper trail (proof when it is needed)
  • Serve as quick, convenient reminders (to both you and to your recipients)
  • Be less time consumptive than leaving a voicemail or waiting for return calls
  • Allow you time to consider your message and revise where necessary
  • Allow you to eliminate emotion from potentially awkward interactions
  • Enable conversations with multiple recipients with the effort of only one interaction

Nevertheless, the tendency to become too comfortable can lead to sloppiness. Learn to monitor your email practices and AVOID these writing wrongs;

  1. Using the TO: section for multiple addresses. This is the biggest business faux pas in email history. Never use the TO: section to send a mass email…that’s what they make the BCC: section for (which stands for Blind Carbon Copy). Not only does this practice indicate an impersonal correspondence and a lack of knowledge on how to use email, it also invades the privacy of every name on that list. Mass emails left open for all to see create the serious potential for contact piracy and the spreading of electronic viruses.
  2. Vague or non-existing Subject Lines. Differentiate yourself from spammers by “fessing” up to what you want to talk about.
  3. Failure to choose your words wisely. Emails do not have the liberty of communicating emotion, tonality or inflection. Your words are the only tool you have when writing; always double check for synonyms, generalizations or double meanings.
  4. Tendency to answer too quickly. Brevity and accuracy are important, but miscommunication is a risk when answering in a rush or from your smart phone. Take time to review before pressing the ‘send’ button.
  5. Being too relaxed with grammar, spelling and slang. If you want to use acronyms, abbreviations and phonetic contractions, send a text or an instant message. Email is still the preferred way of sending business messages and should be treated with professionalism.
  6. Sending lengthy or unorganized information. Keep correspondences to one per subject – that means limiting each email to its own message points, attachments or links. Send a second email with the content of another subject. In the age of professional attention deficit disorder, an email with more than one message may not be read in its entirety and the risk of miscommunication increases.
  7. Relying on the auto-spellchecker. Many misspellings actually do make accurate words…they just might not be the words you intended to write. Don’t assume that your spell-check knows you meant “know” rather than “no” or “dessert” rather than “desert”.
  8. Overlooking your contact information. Even when corresponding to familiar people, it is a point of convenience and courtesy to include a signature with contact information at the end of each message. In the event that someone wants to respond with an immediate phone call or view your website, you don’t want them to waste time looking up your information.
  9. Placing personal information on company networks. Any email should be sent with the knowledge that at any given point, millions of viewers may have access. Companies always have the right to enforce compliance policies regarding privacy. If it can’t be read by your boss or your mom, save it for a phone call or for happy hour.
  10. Failure to delete long trails of pointless and unformatted content. Emails lose their convenience when someone must scroll endlessly to get to the intended message. If forwarding an existing message or a series of replies, do everyone the favor of deleting the unnecessary text. Stick to the point.
  11. Hitting “Reply All”. Unless each recipient of an email must be privy to all responses, your reply should only be sent to the email originator. It is time consuming and careless to include each person in a correspondence intended only for the sender.

Now let’s work on that second celebratory glass.

Women Are Too Emotional…Fact or Myth?

“We are just as strong as any man. Yet with generous intellect, we are also plagued with emotion. Emotion can be stronger then intelligence, and so it comes to pass that we are often our own demise.” ~ Female author unknown

I’m feeling particularly ambivalent about this quote.

While I am an avid believer in the fact that we ARE women and often DO roar, I have to disagree with the premise that emotion can become our own demise.

It’s common knowledge that women are generally more emotional than their counterparts, what with all that estrogen & such. Yet I raise the argument that this is not a hindrance but rather a resource.

Yeah, I said it. Female emotions are a resource.

 

Think about it. With our innately heightened emotions, women are capable of increasing their levels of output in a variety of areas that are ultimately as useful in business as they are at home;

  • Use of intuitive decision-making
  • Loads of empathy
  • Loyalty in client and personal relationships (often successful at balancing the two)
  • Heightened sensitivity to the source of challenges or potential problems
  • The ability to commit (to relationships, to projects, to employers, to contracts, etc.)
  • Open-mindedness to compromise and win-win negotiations
  • Dedication to flexible work arrangements, maternity/paternity needs and safety regulations
  • Patience & instinct for nurturing tasks, projects, trainees or obligations
  • Passion for the cause (whatever that may be today)

What poses a challenge is when emotion runs ramped. Creating habits that increase awareness…and therefore control…of emotions can ensure keeping those buggers in check.

Building habits that keep emotions in check:

  1. Streamline the Multi-tasking – By natural tendency, women can juggle a variety of items both mentally and physically.  We may not be happy about it, but we’re fully capable.  The thing is, the stress of taking on too much tends to creep up before we know it.  Practice taking inventory of the projects at hand and learn to say NO to the items that arise before completing the current list.
  2. Avoid Gossip – Women are natural communicators, and while this is often a bonus in the relationship-building department, gossip is not only a time waster but also a big deterrent to fair and truthful game play.
  3. Balance Intuition with Caution – Taking risks is a necessary part of using intuition but exercising the ability to weigh risk with danger is a useful skill for both negotiation and safety.
  4. Know When to Quit – Commitment to an employee, employer or project is an asset, until it depletes you of precious time, money or other resources.  Recognize when to cut the losses and begin again elsewhere having learned something along the way.
  5. Maintain Focus – Practice meditation, listen more than you speak, choose direct routes (in both transits and in conversations), fuel your body with brain food and remember to breathe.

 

How has female emotion been a useful resource in your own experience?

What is Stealth Communication?

Effective communication should be unencumbered by bullshit or games or difficult temperaments, as so many personality types have a tendency to exercise. It should be a clean, crisp and direct message that cuts right to the point.  Wasting time and effort on “fluff” may make for a great English Lit assignment submission, but it’s not going to serve toward getting your intended message to the receiver in today’s world of Attention Deficit Disorder sufferers, whether you’re writing it or speaking it.

Where, then, do I get the correlation between “communication” and “stealth”?

By Wiki’s definition, the word stealth is a noun meaning;

  1. the attribute or characteristic of acting in secrecy

“Stealth-like” communication, much like an arrow would cut right through the air in one straight path to its directive, is the practice of getting directly to the point with your message.  In fact, the word stealth itself eludes to a sense of “no-nonsense” as if it creeps up on you and before you realize it. You want the person you’re speaking with to get your message without seeing it coming, without anticipating what they THINK you’re going to say, and without formulating a response in their mind before your sentence is out of your mouth. In other words, without all the crap that gets in the way of them understanding what you really meant to say.

Stealth also means;

2. in such a way that the actions are unnoticed or difficult to detect by others

They say that in order to achieve any great change or improvement, practice is the best strategy to making something become a habit.  As with any learned or improved skill, getting better at communication involves the practicing of new techniques.  Using power-phrasing, diffusing difficult people and finding new ways of painting a verbal picture all help people to understand you better… but the extra effort you put into turning these skills into habits should not be what people notice.  The only thing people should notice is that they “get you”, right away, every time.

Additionally,  […and here’s my favorite concept about communication…]  The word “stealth” itself  is such a juxtaposition of terminology in the sense that it’s a word typically used to describe very aggressive or testosterone-driven endeavors.  I think the idea of using it to describe a woman who is unafraid of being strong and powerful is just delicious….equaling the concept of using “assertive” (female) communication techniques rather than aggressive (male) ones.

What does “Stealth Communication” mean to you?

Has Book Reviewing Become a Female Dominated Industry?

So I’m at the book blogging convention at the Javits Center in Manhattan Friday (which had immediately followed the Book Expo America) and made an interesting observation.  As I sat, hour after hour and session after informative session, I’d look around and see that, at any given moment, there were no more than 5 men in a room packed with attendees.  As the day progressed, it became evident that 2 of those men were there to be speakers/panelists, while 2 more of them were event sponsors.

Hmmmmm….

From what I learned, being a Book Reviewer in an online world is an often thankless, arduous job, yet droves of people embrace the activity every day, whether it’s a paid gig or not. What can this tell us about the industry of blogs that review books and the commitment with which women have embraced the opportunity? A few things came to mind;

  • Women are natural communicators.  Their interest in sharing opinions is innate and driven.
  • Women are compassionate. Countless comments were made about being direct, but sparing negativity in the review process.
  • Women are multi-taskers. They live life with a voice from inside that screams, “Sure I can fit this into a day ‘cuz I want really to”, when that day is already jam packed with other essential crap to do.
  • Women are pioneers motivated by passion.  For the majority of attendees & speakers, the love of books (not money) is the sole reason for becoming the next big literary critic.

Consequently, as I sat for lunch, the lone author at a table crammed with professional women from book industry giants like Random  House, Osprey Publishing and Penguin Books, these observations only became more evident.  Discussions revolved around the love of the task itself and the commonality with which each individual pours herself into her work. Inevitably, cards were exchanged and future business connections made, but not until the conversation’s end. The graceful way that women perform these acts of connection-making is more a stealthily executed afterthought than it is a WIIFM (what’s in it for me) format. The exchange of thoughts & feelings comes first, business is a natural outcome.  You go girls.

Not for nuthin’, but I was the first person to sit down at an empty table for lunch – the others who joined me afterward were totally unsolicited…or were they?  Mental note, write a post about ‘The Power of Intention‘.

So I pose the question…has this viral movement of online book reviewing been claimed by literary femme fatale contributors?  Or were the men simply at home with the pets & kids this week?

8 Ways to Communicate with Difficult People

It’s pertinent to consider why certain people have a toxic effect on our relationships, both personal and professional. But the bottom line is that no matter the reason for behaving in a difficult manner, there are various ways to pacify a difficult situation.

Doctors of psychology suggest that we can salvage difficult relationships by learning about each other through perceptiveness, control of emotion and direct communication. Easier said than done? In the event that you don’t have time for therapy, try the following ideas for controlling your own environment and diffusing difficult situations:

  • Don’t mirror body language. Contrary to popular belief, you shouldn’t copy or mimic each person you converse with. Should you encounter someone behaving in an aggressive or antagonistic way, you’re better off diffusing the situation by maintaining a more calm and under control demeanor.
  • Never embarrass anyone – Take them aside. Nothing comes off as more aggressive or thoughtless than embarrassing someone, especially in front of others; you give the impression of being insensitive and unable to negotiate. If you must confront or address an issue directly, take someone aside and do it in a mutually respectful neutral location so as to foster common ground.
  • Actively Problem Solving keeps you thinking of finding a solution rather than the problem itself, diverting the mind into acting creatively rather than angrily.  This tactic also allows you to shine as the respectful concerned one, the team player. This will serve to disarm the difficult person and provide you enough time to gain control.
  • Ask permission to take notes. In the worst of awkward or seemingly hopeless situations it may make sense to document the conversation “for the record”. After all, imagine the effect on your verbal sparing partner when you announce that you find their information so important that you’ll be writing it down…and by the way, what is their name and employee#? People tend to become more careful with the way they argue, threaten or instigate when they fear having to explain their behavior, or worse…having proof of it.
  • Watch your body messaging – Don’t move into personal space to prove an adamant point. If you tend to let stance and mannerisms (inclusive of the hands) take control when you speak, be sure to control what your action says. An aggressive form of communication can turn into a negotiation faux pas.
  • Use a mediator. Whether at the office or sitting around a table of friends, asking for an unbiased opinion from a third party not only assists in squelching an impasse, but forces both parties to step outside of emotion and into a compromise.
  • Plan your day to limit negative people. It’s about taking control of your schedule, not the difficult people. While it’s true that you likely can’t avoid Monday morning’s meeting with your boss, it might be wise, when and if you can control it, NOT to schedule lunch with your bag-o’downers-best-buddy on the same day. Limit your exposure to difficult people in a short timeframe, wherever you can since lengthy exposure to negativity threatens the survival of your positive attitude.
  • Above all, show respect. Listen. There is no better diffuser of difficult traits than being heard and feeling understood. Most heated situations and strained relationships stem from the lack of an open connection. By human instinct, once we are “heard” we are less defensive and can better focus on the issue at hand.

Clearly not all situations will be caused by a lack of communication or solved by diffusing difficult or toxic types. It’s our responsibility to remember four essential tidbits of knowledge; Don’t take it personally, Remember that you ARE good at your job/life, accept that you will never please everyone, and be responsible for your own actions.